Day 24: The reason you believe you’re still alive today

I know :)) It's not supposed to be the 24-th writing, but I decided to change the rules a little. I am still going to write about all the topics,but in random order... I am tired of the routines!!! I am tired of damn synchronized routine....
The reason I believe I am still alive today, is a simple acknowledgement that my "logical end" hasn't come yet... Sometimes I just love to be irrational (today is such case) and say that I am alive, because there are people that need me here, or maybe the reason I am alive today is simply because I still have things to do, to accomplish in my life, I have to understand the meaning of my life, or life in general... This sounds so comforting and so beautiful... I wish and sometimes I really hope, or maybe even believe in the "said above"... But when I think of this question, what pops up in my head is that I am just alive.... Should there be a reason for that??

If you guys have a different opinion, please share, it would be interesting to know what do you think what's the reason you are alive today....

Cheers,

Anna, as always :)

Theories of personality...

I just love Freud!!! Let this article be a little light brightening to our "spotless minds"....

A multi-dimensioned nature of person and diversity of his social relations determine a diversity of theoretic approaches to personality. One of them is the psychological analysis of Sigmund Freud (1856-1939). He considered a person as a hedonist, as striving for getting satisfaction, with the society as a system of constraints and taboos. According to S. Freud, personality has three structures: the Id, the Ego, and the Superego. The Id consists of instincts, basically sexual. It is totally unconscious and has no contact with reality. As children experience the demands and constraints of reality, a new structure of personality emerges – the Ego. It is called the executive branch of personality because it uses reasoning to make decisions. The Id and the Ego have no morality. They do not take into account whether something is right or wrong. The highest structure is the Superego which is the moral branch of personality as it takes into account whether something is right or wrong that’s why it is seen as norms of the society. The Superego is what is often referred to as “conscience. ”The Id and the Superego are most aggressive branches. Attacking human psyche (the Ego) from both sides they make life rough for the Ego and give birth to a neurotic type of human behaviour. For instance, your Ego might say, “I will have sex only occasionally and be sure to take the proper divcautions because I don’t want the intrusion of a child in the development of my career. ”However, your Id is saying, “I want to be satisfied; sex is pleasurable. ”Your Superego is at work, too: “I feel guilty about having sex before I’m married. ”Personality becomes neurotic as it is constantly defending from public divssure and conflicting with the social milieu. As soon as the society develops, the highest structure (the Superego) inevitably increases and becomes more massive and heavier, that’s why S. Freud considered the history of mankind as history of increasing psychosis.

I think the example brought above is too practical.... but it's the truth! Our Ego struggles every single day, it is always tempted and is always in hot-bed of tensions (by the way, always wanted to use this expression :) ). And it strongly affects our society... most of the time as life shows, as our society pictures, Superego is suppressed by the attacking Id... And no, I am not being pessimistic, I am just sad, that I, myself, can also be listed in the raw of suppressed Superegos.... :/

Day 10: Something people seem to compliment you the most on

Well it's probably my eyes.... I get complimented on my blue eyes quite often.... Do I like it-yes, :) who doesn't like to be complimented...
I'll be MODEST and end this topic right here :)

Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted

Firsthand, I apologize for my several-day silence... my mind has been very busy lately... I need to make my thoughts into actions, transform them into reality and apply on daily basis. Productivity is very important, otherwise you'll bury your creativity alive.

Now, turning to the topic... There is a person, which was and still is important to me and is a part of my past.... but as it's written above, I didn't want to let go, but just drifted, BECAUSE it was vital, needed!

When lifetime friendship turns into something else, and the feelings start to mix with the ones that are forbidden in a friendship like that, in a friendship of such character, in a friendship of such long duration and when the real, "holding-it-together" meaning is lost, it has to be over.... "You" lost the meaning of being friends and consequently I lost "You"... I always want to see "You" in my life, but only as a friend you had been for me for such a long time.... I just want to say Come back one day. I am still Anna.

Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like poopy

:)))) The last part of the title made me laugh! I don't know about people making my life a hell, but there are things that can and have made my life a living hell... so consequently, people who have done, or will do those things will make it happen... I have my moments, and sometimes I might be quite emotional and fragile....
There is no such person that have made my life hell, or mistreated me.... but I will say one thing...
"I can't stand drunk people and drinking issues are horrible".....

Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for

Are there going to be any heart-lighted topics on this list?! While I read the title for countless times, trying to concentrate on my thoughts, a sentence from a great poem came to my mind...

"People come into your life for a reason,
 a season, or a lifetime"...

This is quite true... people in your life good or bad, somehow affect your living and yourself. Most of the times, if you are lucky or smart enough to have yourself surrounded by good people, it's a good thing. Think about this.... okay, you have your dream job, lot's of money, beautiful house, you have all other possible material things! But you don't have family that will support you, love you, cherish you, you don't have friends which may be loyal to you, you can't turn to anytime you feel sad.... you don't have real people to relay on,or the one's who will need YOU in their life... Now tell me... does such life makes it worth to live? I don't think so... You have to have people in your life! People make it worth living. And I am not just trying to draw this perfect picture of loving family without problems, true and loyal friends who will never betray you, or lie to you, honest colleges at work that won't talk behind your back!! No, I am not closing my eyes on all of this... But then again, I still think that people make it worth living...
And truly, I never ever thought, not even for a minute, that my life is not worth living... Yes, I have been very sad, lonely, I've been through some really hard things... but those never became a reason to think that my life is unworthy.
There really are a lot of people, that make my life worth living for... Also, how can I pick one?-my Mom, my Grandmother, my sister, my love.... They ALL make it worth to live for!

Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do

Whoever made up this list must have been choosing the most tricky questions.... :)
Well... Of course there are vital few things I hope I will never heave to do in my life... I think everyone who will write about this topic will mention them: like I never ever want to go through a divorce, or I never want to say goodbye to my loved ones, never hurt them consciously, betray them etc, etc.... 

But as for real "I don't ever want to do in my life", I am going just to list them... It might be not too pleasant to think deep about some of them.... so here we go:
 -I don't ever want to lose my morals in life
 -I don't ever want to take somebody off of life support
 -I don't ever want to be alone (If I will be, it will be ONLY my fault)
 -I don't ever want to choose between 2 important for me people
 -I don't ever want to bury a child! (never, everrrrr)
 -I don't ever want to go through the same thing I have already been through in my life before.... never, ever....

That's enough.....
I need to write my boyfriend good night and sleep myself.... <3

See ya!